Ask Amy: Broken romance also breaks friendship

Dear Amy: I was in a four-year relationship that ended last year. We weathered the pandemic together and had good times, but I didn’t believe we were a good romantic match. She was emotionally fragile and dealt with depression when we first met, but she was her very best self when we were together.

We moved in together much too soon.

My former partner and I broke up amicably and I had every intention to stay friends with her. However, a romance began to blossom between myself and a mutual friend.

I understand my former partner’s pain. I never wanted to hurt her.

I moved on with the other person. I’ve thought about building a family with her and have posted about this online.

Now my former partner is incredibly hurt. I just hate that it had to end this way. Honestly, sometimes I think I should sacrifice my own happiness for hers because I feel so guilty now.

Recently her friends have been watching my Instagram. I’m sure they will report back to her that I’ve moved in with my girlfriend.

Does the guilt ever go away for choosing what you feel is best for you?

— Guilty Lover

Dear Guilty: Guilt does go away, and careful behavior helps to usher it out.

You should be extremely judicious (in the shorter term) when posting about your new relationship online, not only to protect your former partner’s feelings, but because it’s wisest to do so.

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